Goodbye 2013

Last day of 2013 and I still not even used to writing 2013 on the date, how is that 2014 coming soon. Time flies. Fun or not  the past is the past.

Ops that's a blurry picture of the stuff I got. But it's in a pile and I don't want to show you what I got truly. As you will call me crazy.

So there's just a lot of stuff hidden under the clothes. Anyway, spent a lot this month. More than 2 months pocket money. So that's crazy. I will do a no buy January and February. 

But in my defense, there's Christmas presents and birthday gift which contribute to the money disappearing trick. But it was really fun buying stuff. Mostly because I am bored. 

I will really miss this slack December month. I really enjoy being alone and spending time with my friends. I enjoy doing housework at my own time. Eating healthy for the first couple of weeks and gaining back all the weight thanks to that someone special. Not that I blame him, but he could have do better. He knows how I want to fit into my that dress. So ya I blame him after all. 

But ya it was great having to spend time with him. We have not really seen each other much this year. And in the course of a year, I've grown to be a better girl hopefully. And now I'm ready. 

Even though my 23rd is a useless year, turning 24 is quite fun. I'm now not afraid being alone in public. 

I did 3 months no buy that helps with putting my perspective in check. 

I went out with his friends that is something I usually wouldn't want to do, cause I suck at it. But I'm looking forward for more of that.  

I did went out with the guys, so that's a finally get to see them again. 

I join Zumba after 7 years of wanting to. And I join alone which is rare for me. I'm getting better at life. 

Found Zahreen again. 

Hanging out with my secondary lovelies. 

Experiencing a lost of someone special but knowing that she's in a better place now. 

Still meeting my yinyang so that's good. 

Met up with Nata again after so long. 

No longer needing to celebrate my birthday, that is a stepping stone. 

Didn't really do much this year, but I feel that I've really grown as a person. Maybe you see me and still see me as the same, but that is good too. 

I know I'm more loyal now. And I can't wait for the future. Really looking for that life. But I still have to graduate and find a job. That's the two scary things I need to overcome next year. 

As for my friends, I really wish that 2014 will bring a new start to them. A happiness that will stay within them. I guess health is also important. Wouldn't hurt for a little wealth. 

So I would like to thank Huimin and Kalai for being there always. Then there is Sophie who occasionally appear from my life, haha. But ya I'm glad you talk to me in music class. Zahreen for the short moment we found you again. Geannie for being my partner in school. Jiayun for the random messages worrying about school. Pamela for her being back. Natalia for still talking to me even though I don't have time to actually meet up. Vicky for realizing that I'm ready to be in a relationship. Diana for being D and I can't wait to hang out with you soon. Kelly for making my life and bedtime not boring. Yogi and the cousins and their other half. Mami for always buying me food. And lastly you for being with me. 

Do I miss anyone? I guess there's Pat who teach us how precious life is. But I guess that's pretty much the gish of people in my life right now. 

Oh I would like to thank Yogi's friend for the awesome snacks from Japan. Yumyum. It isn't a thank for 2013 but mostly it's from December. My life is quite a blank until September. Wouldn't want that to happen again. 

So here is to a better 2014!

To new love. 

New friendship. 

New success. 

Closer bonds. 

Zouk Out 2013

I was there on day 2. I told my myself that this will be the last. Then again, old habit die hard. 

The day before I did not eat anything. Didn't want to get gastric, I forced myself to eat 2 slices of bread and a slice of ice cream. That was the biggest regret I made. I should had a proper meal. 

On the 14th, I woke up, made myself some toasts, a slice of bacon and 2 sausages. For dinner I ate half Alfredo pasta and 3 pieces of chicken tenders. The pasta was very creamy and made me super full. Back at the hotel, (we stayed at Siloso Beach Hotel again) I drank just a shot of vodka with redbull. I turned red. So vodka made me red easily. Will have to try with other beverages. Anyway, I was full and I don't to drink too much as the toilet will be so inconvenient. 

And off we went to queue. The queueing system was not that good. If you are in a big group, it's kind of an advantage for you. There wasn't really an order. As people just cut left and right and try to squeeze by you. But it wasn't that a big deal. Just quite annoying. 

Didn't managed to get much pictures. The sets was great. We went in at midnight and start of on Zedd. He was alright. I wasn't really into the music but I tried. And Rachel went off to toilet halfway. I was there trying to form a circle of bubble for myself. A space. Just enough for me to dance. 

The disadvantage of being short is that people don't see you. They think that it is space. So they tend to just walk to you and pass you. They just "dig" through to get to the other side. It was unpleasant. I am used to it. Clubbing and crowded places, I know how it will go down. That's why I made my bubble. Plus I actually like to move. So I need space. Unlike most people where all the do is bend their knees and jump. 

Anyway, other than the shoving, pushing, squeezing and stepping on your foot, it was alright. Tiany did get puked on so that suck for her. And there was a time when we walked back to the stage, there was human traffic and everyone kept shoving around. That was probably the closest thing to a fight during this event. 

Unlike 3 years ago which was my first ZoukOut, there was only 2 stages that day. And I wasn't in VIP so this time it's really just a concert for me. Last time, we still have a place to chill and wonder. I mean I can see people at different area chilling and partying with the "booth" music but or us, we really just hang out at the Moon Stage. 

I saw a couple of familiar faces but that was it. We were a party of 7 but it was always the 5 of us. So we lost out to everyone else. Plus we are not tall. not enough guys, not enough manpower. 

So this is us. All ready to party. 

This is the last picture I took that day. The blurry tiny pic of Dash Berlin. 

As always I learnt that it is better to go in a big group. Like a huge group. Cause it's really safety by the numbers. Unless you are tall then a couple of you is find. 

If you are there for the awesome DJs, then have guys friends. They protect you, they can carry you on their shoulders, they pave way for you. Body guards, the more the better. 

Pray for rain, cause it will be so hot. 

Eat. Eat the day before too. Cause for me I really run out of energy. I felt myself getting lethargic. It was like I need food. I need energy. Not because of alcohol but because I don't eat enough. I was waiting to faint, but that didn't happen, so it's good. But hunger, strike that, it wasn't hunger, just need energy, is painful. I wanted to dance and jump and move, but I felt getting drained out. So I wasn't as fun as I was supposedly to. 

For staying up all night, I was find with it as I usually sleep at 7am. But most people after Alesso started to go back. I don't know of they wanted to catch a taxi home and don't want to fight the crowd of what. I just cause clubs the latest end at 5am, and it was just the right time to go home. For me I can't bear to leave halfway as I would wonder. I had always pretty much stayed throughout at most parties, events and chalet I went to. Well as long as I don't have anything else going on. But ya, I did not stay the whole event, as my cousins went back, but I managed to catch Dash. I like his set, really nice songs to listen and chill. Plus if you can see him on the stage, he will be giving signals how his songs are like, be it high, going slow or just steady pace. So it was fun. He interacted with us. Oh by that time, the sky getting brighter and most people around are couples and they were smooching around and stuff. Cause his music is nice for couple. And I was just jealous of that. 

And I'm jealous of big group of people. 

As I said halfway this will be my last. But I probably am lying. I enjoy dancing and I like music. As long as I have enough energy I will go crazy. So Zouk Out is something I enjoy going. Not every month, but annually, it will be alright. But I will not be a student forever. So we shall see next year. 

This year, it was like a massive clubbing experience. A big scale of clubbing. And it was nice cause they go there for the music, majority of the people are, so there were no guys hitting on girls. It was safe. It was fun. There were lots of tourists too. We heard stories of how dangerous Zouk Out could be, but it wasn't like that this time. It was so much nicer. Compare to last time, it was slightly different. And I like to believe that I can move better now. But a fat chick will always be a fat chick. So there wasn't any signs telling you that you are great. I can't starve myself, but I am really tired of being the fat girl. Especially when everyone is in bikinis. 

Tsk tsk, at the end I still talk about my insecurities. Well done. Until I can be a forever desirable girlfriend, I will always complain. And it's my blog, I can type whatever I want. 

A focus photo. 

P.s. I kept trying to take photos with my arms raise high just to see the stage. 

P.s.s. there was a point of time when Tiany carried me so I can see the DJ. If not throughout his set, I don't see him at all. I can't remember who though. Was it Zedd?

Crooked - G-dragon

This song has been stuck in my head for sometimes. Well, basically just the chorus. I prefer G dragon when he is normal, but I have to admit that he has nice songs. But they don't stuck in my head. So I don't know why this particular song appeal to me. It has been like what 3 weeks now. Even though I don't know the lyrics and meaning, I just like it.

So today, Kelly was ok you really wanna know the meaning. Then she checked and read me the meaning word by word. I don't know why but I was like oh no wonder. I may don't understand language, but maybe secretly my heart does. I was like so sad, and Kelly said yah the mv is sad. I never really watch it, but ok. I get it now.

Last month of 2013

Last month! So fast! I still have trouble memorizing or writing down the 2013 as the year, and it's already almost the end. 2014 just seems like what, wah, already?

I have a list of things that I wish to happen. That I need to see. That I want to have. It's just a silly list. Making a list is so nothing much but crossing off it it's the fun part. So I created a list to ground me. I created to list to feel a sense of accomplishment. I created a list just for the sake of crossing the words out. 

In fact I used to write so much that I came out with 600+ things. Now it's already 821! For the past 3 years plus, I don't really list down things anymore. Only when I'm so nervous or something that I will put it down. Wrote it in my little black book. 

Of course not all the points are extremely special. I have one that said get a new haircut. I have a whole page dedicating to surviving poly. I wrote survive week 1 of sem, follow by survive week 2 and you get the point. I also have impossible dreams like playing the drums and Liverpool to win premierleague. And more current are a friend to married, a friend have a baby and survive Dinneralone December. 

So even though it's a list of unrelated items and wishes, it is still fun. There's a bunch of to-do list too which I actually should separate from that book. I should be focusing that book on the heart mind matter, not on to-do lists. 

Btw, if I didn't managed to do the things on thy list, I will zigzag the line across. Or if I forgot what it is about, zigzag. Or like I did not manage to enjoy the event, zigzag. So it's pretty flexible. Even though the win 4D is still on that list since forever. It doesn't really apply to me anymore. But it can still happen so I can't cross it off. 

Anyway, let me pick up the wants and to-do lists and put it here. 

- go Chinatown buy supply

- make ice cream pops

- meet up with Nata

- meet up with my yinyang

- hang out with Sophie more

- plan food consumption and go supermarket

- don't forget to do housework

- fix body clock

- stop shopping unnecessary stuff

- buy 2014 diary

- eat at Lady M

- eat Anderson fondue

- eat the ramen at Orchard Gallery

- enjoy sitting at Starbucks with their holiday drinks 

- watch the hobbit 2

- survive being alone

I think the hardest for me will be breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am so used to having food being provided for me. It's going to be tough to have to feed for myself. If I am naturally all alone should be better but there will be the occasional weekend of yogi and daddy will be around too after work. So it's going to be a tough lonely month.